i don't know why i'm even talking about this but i just need to vent for a moment. Life really is a trip man. Lately i've been doing a retro spec of my life. And man to think about some of the stuff i've over came man i feel like i still haven't gone done much with myself. I went on a date the other day with a female friend and we had a deep conversation about relatives. As i was talking to her about my siblings i just felt a sudden sadness inside me. I talked about how most of my siblings are non existent and haven't really been around. My oldest brother to me really hasn't been a factor in my life sense i can remember. I thought back when i was 5 years old and my parents went out to eat or something of that nature and they told my oldest brother to watch me. So they leave and my brother stays for a good 10 minutes then he asked me if i wanted to stay at a family friends house. I said no because i wanted to stay home. So he decided to leave me at home by myself to hang out with his friends. I really didn't pay it any mind because, i just wanted to play with my toys any way which kept me company. Eventually my parents got home and were enraged with my brother when i told them that they left me by myself. Then i remembered another time my brother abandoned me when i was young. I think he wanted to go to kings dominion with some friends i was 5 or 6 at the time i believe. Anyways he was suppose to watch me that day again because,both my parents were at work.(i think it was during the summertime) Sense he's lazy he decided to drop me off at one of our neighbors house and their son watched me for the whole day. Again after my parents got home they were furious with my brother. Now lets fast forward to about 7 years later. My brother got out of jail for the first time and came home. I remember visiting him in jail and he sold me a dream on how he was going to take me shopping and we were going to hang out and etc. When he was released from prison he didn't do any of the things he promised. He was absent which didn't bother me much because, he was locked up for a while. So during this same year i got extremely sick and had meningitis which required me to stay in the hospital for a while. So while i was in the hospital i was super high on morphine because i was in so much pain. While i was laying on the hospital bed day by day i repetitively asked for my brother and my mother told me that he proclaimed that he didn't want to see me sick. But me and my mom knew otherwise. He just wanted to hang out with his friends as usual. I really didn't take it to heart too much. So about 2 years later he got locked up again and still is til this very day. I could honestly care less though. He writes and calls me every now and then but all he does is just ask for me to send him money or just ask about his friends. He ask about his son sometimes but other than that he rarely talks about anything worth while. I think thats enough for now i'll talk more about my siblings in my next post.
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